As a warm up for the imminent Freakin' Green Elf Shorts caption competition I thought I'd throw you this jem to get those caption muscles working again.
So caption away me hearties, and may the best captionere win.
(For additional credit name the film, the year it was made, the 3 principle leads, the book it came from the main differences between the book and the movie and the ultimate fate of each fella in this shot.)
You've only got a couple of days to impress me - the winner will be decided toward the end of the week.
Go!
33 comments:
I'm don't know what the film is!
Still:
They came up with an alternative to drawing straws, and it just wasn't Charlton's day.
Planet of the Apes.1968,Charlton and Roddy Dowell are the only two I can think of.Me thinks one got stuffed,one got shot and Charlie boy went on to say, Damm you!Damm you all?
Caption?
"I'm not daisy chaining with that!"
or
"Charlton, closing your eyes,won't make the monkey disappear."
Christ I could go on.
First guy, "You know, you really oughta have a doctor look at that..." Second guy, "Yea, I know. It really does hurt."
OH MY GOD THAT IS SO HOT
ewww...is that gum?
Middle guy: "Get your hands off me, you damn dirty ape!"
Guy on the left: "Sorry mate, I thought you were meant to be the second coming."
Guy on the right: "If you two could stop bickering, someone's gotta do something about that burning bush."
Or: "So that's where soylent green comes from!"
At the risk of being completely politically incorrect:
"Damn, it is true!"
tmcaukou
"Get up and take it like a man, you damn queer! Nobody ever died because they got covered in my sticky white love-piss."
Oh, that was me (Tina), btw
Well, Sid's got most of it, so I'll just add that the book was "Monkey Planet" (Planete des Singes) by Pierre Boulle, and that the planet in question is around either Wolf 359 or Aldebaran. It is only upon returning to Earth that Taylor discovers that man has also been replaced by the apes.
(In my defence, it's nearly 30 years since I read it)
Oh, and a caption :
"..and it's been swollen up like that for months."
... and that's how I bash my monkey.
Alternatively:
Oh no, not ginger nuts, haven't we got some digestives?
"Oooooh! We like it"
or
"Ewwwwww!"
Or how about
"So it's true then!"
That SID's so anal, don't you think?
That wasn't a caption by the way, just an observation.
Now, if you could only have somehow photoshopped the elf shorts into that picture on Hesty boy, THAT would have been stellar...
Someone nicked our uniforms.. damn them all!! You better tie that round your leg or you'll catch it on something
I like the leak's caption. HAHAHAHA!!!!
still laughing!
I said WAX, you moron.
Geroff...
No.... The Laser Sight is an optional extra
"Jeezus Roddy, will you look at that! Bend it in half and it'll still come out of your mouth."
Take two chimps into the shower?
"Now hold it... thats it...steadyyyy....there now, thats what I call one Angry Chimp!"
Listen guys,if we stand here long enough, Tina and April should be walking by.. pretty soon.
"Ahem,Charlton....I think its your turn to pick up the soap?"
Please end this.
Sorry bit late to the party...
"What!? Walhburg plays me? So the twist is the monkeys play the humans"
"Oh for fuck sake Heston put it down!
CH: Not from my cold dead hands!"
"Look Heston how many more times:
1. Always point in a safe direction
2. Always keep your finger off, and
3. Always keep it unload... URRGH, NOT ON ME!"
"Target practice can be tough - especially with a high yield automatic weapon. To get more control, pretend it's just part of your body - a long, hard, probing part."
The book is told in the 3rd person (I dunno the literary terms - someones telling the story alright). Anyway, the 'twist' is that the story teller is a monkey. Whereas in the movie you get Hestons 'They've blown it all to hell' line. Summit like that anyway
"Why yes, that is the rod I used to part the Red Sea."
They may have robbed us of our planet, of our dignity, of our freedom, but damn it all, we're still better hung than those fucking apes.
qbzuahex??? come on that's ridiculous!
"I only said spank the goddamn monkey....."
or
"What do you want to do? Shall we go looking for Locke and Sawyer now or knock one out first?"
I'd happily swap my chest wig for a dong that long.
My God.. you'll get a few more than 5 fingers on THAT organ
Guy on left: "So let me get this right...you went for a ramble - naked, naturally - stumbled on a rock and accidentally got your nob stuck in that creature??"
Guy in middle: "And it's wearing a tutu why exactly?"
Hey-Ho ;)
George began to feel uncomfortable by the company's latest team building exercise.
Hey, Why Not
Who gives a fuck that the waterfall isn't really made of chocolate, these Oopma-loompas sure give good head.
Hey Hey He's a Monkey
Jem? It's gem, surely?
Tsk, tsk, how standards have slipped.
Hey Who Gives a Fuck
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