The complete - The Stabbing Bachelor

Agadoo Agadee;
he was in a psych ward now he’s free.
Left with a degree and a potted taro,
tried his very best to stick to the straight and narrow.

Ba da bong ba da bing;
couldn’t get a job with a record from sing.
Took to watching women with their babies;
couldn’t stop itching from a dose of scabies.

Ca ca coo, ca ca col;
he was very far from a jolly old soul.
Thought all women were deceitful bitches;
standing next them set off his twitches.

Dim de fop, dim de fup;
How’d his face get so messed up?
What’s his problem, what’s his curse?
As a child he was fingered by a nurse.

Em em mee, em em mot;
his tiny rented room was full of rot.
The walls were very thin, not made of bricks;
he could hear the sound of hookers turning tricks.

Fe fi fun, Fe fi fig;
burnt his arms with a lighted cig.
Wrote confession notes, stored them under his mattress;
admitted to the slaughter of a stage school actress.

Goo ga gum, Goo ga gost;
messing with him’ll be to your cost.
Frequently too tired for high school dating;
from staying up all night - masturbating.

Ha na wow ha na wot;
saw his first death when he was a tot
Father killed his mother when he was two;
she’d complained about the seat up on the loo.

Igaroo Igarish;
cheese burger with fries is his favourite dish.
Abused by his uncle and called a peach;
poisoned him aged seven with a cup of bleach.

Jim ja roo, jim ja rae;
had a passion for girl; didn’t know what to say.
Attempting social contact was a paroling pledge;
knew that a rejection would push him over the edge.

Kim da kot, kim da kace;
he asked her out; she laughed in his face.
He tore out her tongue and ripped off her hair;
he’d only meant to give her a scare.

La la loon, la la lar;
this time he’s gone too far.
Chopped up her torso and left it in the park;
on a killing spree he’ll soon embark.

Ming-a-ling, Ming-a-lorn;
an horrific creature has been born.
Can he stop at this late stage?
Not with this amount of pent up rage.

Na na nok, na na nou;
he’ll kill me and then he’ll kill you.
Walking in the street, you give him a look;
sooner than you know you’re hanging from a hook

Oh my dear, oh my lore;
each notch in his belt is his killing score.
When you come home, he’ll be lurking in your hedge;
scratching his head with a razor’s edge.

Pa pa pims, pa pa pids;
first he’ll do you, then your kids.
He'll make them watch as you die;
stabs them in the guts if they cry.

Quelle ce sires, quelle ce sosh;
he’ll beat your head in with his cosh.
Whilst you scream he’ll grind your knees;
he resolutely ignores your pleas.

Roppidy reas roppidy rar;
he’ll run you over in his car.
With your hair he’ll light his fires;
and your skin he’ll use for tires.

Sallecazires, sallecazun;
he likes in when you run.
He’ll chase you down with his drill;
then fry your liver on his grill.

Tim ta roo tim ta ray;
when will he come? I can not say.
But when he does it won’t be quick;
he’ll use your bones as a candlestick.

Umpty ick umpty arst;
in his dreams he’s tortured by the past.
Humiliated as a child by Derek Towers;
violated each week in the changing room showers.

Vim ve vup vim ve voo;
now he’s caught us what’ll he do?
Use his knife to slice your nose;
he’ll chew the meat between your toes.

Wahee Wahun;
he’ll keep you alive whilst he has his fun.
Tied to a wall with a leather choker;
burning out our retinas with a red-hot poker.

Xuandu, Xuande;
he’ll make you gargle with his wee.
Pulls out your teeth with his pliers;
Saws off your genitals with razor wires.

Yimmy yon yead;
ain’t long now till you are dead.
Fingers nails ripped out one by one;
no pity for you, he thinks you’re scum.

Ziggy zig zend;
can you guess how this story will end?
Do they catch him? Do they fuck!
The closest they got was when they found his truck.