Saturday, September 03, 2005

WE LOVE EACH OTHER - The Guardian Magazine 03/09/05

Reprinted with no permission from The Guardian Weekend Suppliment 03/09/05

we love each other 030905
THE WEEKEND MAGAZINE: OMG, they are like, soooo kewl.


Paul Garner & Sarah Neild


Sarah I have never met anyone from Scunthorpe. He claimed he was from Bridlington; turned out he was from Harrow. We like people to look at us, especially when we are in Waitrose. The middle class stiffs never know quite what to make of us. They could not hope to comprehend our love even if they tried; we transcend their day in day out humdrum lives with a vivid vitality and existential joie de vie. Occasionally I wear the same papier mâché panties two days in a row, and he wears his Y’s back to front as an act of rejection for conformity.

Paul I like chips in brown gravy, but only in an ironic, post-modern deconstructionist, Mercian critique of regional delectations. I will also, on occasion wear a rubber codpiece, but this does tend to chaff somewhat rotten when it gets hot. Cool is such a limiting expression for what we are; life artists would be closer to it. I love her as I love my hog and Hunter S personally signed first edition. We enjoy aural sex. I like to jizz in her ears. Craig Taylor

10 comments:

Nobody Special said...

"We enjoy aural sex. I like to jizz in her ears."

Love it! Classy as ever, Herge.

MHN for short said...

As he whispers sweet nothings in her ear..."Sweet nothing, sweet nothing, sweet nothing...."

Dave used to do that. I loved it. I thought it was funny. It made me giggle. :-)

thordora said...

You've been to Toronto then?...

garfer said...

Pretentious tossers. Wankpot musos, artistes and thespians: fuck 'em all.
Any ideas where the verb 'jizz' originated?

MHN for short said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
MHN for short said...

Jizz
This is the secret weapon of all birders! It is the ability to absorb information calmly and clearly about a bird in the few seconds you see it, before it dives behind a rock or up a tree. This might be its colour, size, shape, sound or likeness. Jizz refers to the 'feel' of the bird. Birders reckon that jizz comes partly from US Air Force slang for 'general impression and shape', or 'gis'. Just as a black and white photo of a man with a huge beard stood atop mountain or besides a tree is John Muir, a sleek, long-winged bird hovering above a roadside is almost certainly a Kestrel.

This is what I found Garfer. In the U.S. we use the word "gist" for this same kind of meaning. Not at all what Hergie boy had in mind...

Karen said...

Jizz - what the hell is jizzing? No don't tell me I'll use my imagination *shudder*

Anonymous said...

Ha!

I read that yesterday and was appaled by their pretension. Glad to see I'm not the only one.

Bamboo Gasket

Karen said...

You've been to Toronto then?...

Hey now!

The original was probably weird enough that you didn't have to change it, really.

Rowan said...

Is it just Canadians and UK natives that know that "jizzing" in one's ear is kind of a gross thing to do? I thought EVERYONE knew what this expression meant??? I liked the reference of aural vs. oral, interesting....different, but probably what these artistes would have in mind for a good time.