Saturday, March 05, 2005

Proof my life has no meaning - Part the first

I am about to set off for IKEA on a Saturday. I could have gone any day this week, but I have chosen today.

I know how awful it will be, with the middleclass couples tiptoeing around the pikers with aspirations and a love of Linda Barker and her 'hilarious' Dixons adverts. And all the pikers snot nosed abortion dodgers, getting EVERYWHERE.

I'll be picking bits of the little bastards out of the tread of my converse all week.

Like the long road to hell, knowing the one thing that separates you from this and freedom is the queues at the checkout.

The long long queues at the checkout. And maybe a hot dog or a Shmorulerumer, as they are undoubtedly known in the 'Kea.

What is worse, I don't actually need anything, I'm going with a friend because I have nothing better to do.


Sniffy said...

Jeez, that's really bad. My life is so dull that my friends give me special tasks as treats - things like organising their CDs into alphabetical order or installing software onto their PCs. But going to IKEA on a Saturday? That's really bad. You poor thing. It could only get worse if you went on Sunday at 2pm as well.

Herge Smith said...

Tina, It gets worse, after IKEA I helped put together all the crap they bought on a saturday night, because...

...yep you guessed it. I had nothing better to do.

Now you mention it, I am free at around 2pm on Sunday, and I do really need some cheap solutions for modern living...