Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Stick passing - oh my.

Well, Angry Chimp must be in a weakened state due to the poorly woof woof because he's going to take part in one of those chain-letter type things- despite hating such things.

Besides the very fine Karen at Karentainment asked me to do it, and seeing as how she's a Canadian, I couldn't say no. Angry Chimp is a 100% fan of Canadians (In a total generalistic way, you undertstand.)

So what's the caper?

Here we go;

"If I could be"... You choose five from a list of vocations and complete the sentence.

So mine are -

If I could be a comic book artist...

BashStreet
Smithy is back row, third from the right - not the brightest

I'd redefine The Bash Street Kids from The Beano, in a Paul Abbott way, giving them gritty dialogue and a story arc involving child molestation. I'd also make Smithy the hero (albeit a anti-hero with a dark secret). Basically because he's called Smith.

If I could be a mime....




(obvious joke, sorry)

If I could be a horror film killer...
I'd be that creepy one out of Silence of Lambs - Buffalo Bill. Not because I'm a transexual you understand (although I do own a dog) but because I'd get to utter that immortal line - "It places the lotion in the basket".

If I could be a linguist...
I'd be a cunning one. (Gawd shoot me - that was soooo lame - I'm telling you, I'm weak)

If I could be a piece of office equipment...
I'd be a stapler, and have someones name on me, at least I'd be loved.

I would like to pass the stick on to:
Tina Cakesniffer
April Piss Off
Trillion Trillobites

Here's the list
If I could be a musician...
If I could be a doctor...
If I could be a painter...
If I could be a gardener...
If I could be a missionary...
If I could be a chef...
If I could be an architect...
If I could be a linguist...
If I could be a psychologist...
If I could be a librarian...
If I could be an athlete...
If I could be a lawyer...
If I could be an innkeeper...
If I could be a professor...
If I could be a writer...
If I could be a llama-rider...
If I could be a bonnie pirate...
If I could be a service member...
If I could be a business owner...
If I could be an actor...
If I could be an agent
If I could be video game designer...
If I could be a comic book artist...
If I could be a hooker...
If I could be a crack addict....
If I could be a porn star....
If I could be a mime....
If I could be a domestic engineer...
If I could be a chimney sweep....
If I could be a masseuse...
If I could be a taxi driver....
If I could be a priest...
If I could be a fighter pilot...
If I could be a homeless person...
If I could be a biker...
If I could be a mortician...
If I could be a horror film killer...
If I could be a movie writer...
If I could be a muppet...
If I could be a fast food product...
If I could be a piece of office equipment...
If I could be a head of state...
If I could be a member of a boy band...

You are supposed to add your own vocations, so my additions are:

If I could be a Wednesday...
If I could be a list...
If I could be a figment of someones imagination...


23 comments:

boabhan sith said...

LOL...I like yours.

I got stuck with that thing about a week ago.

Nobody Special said...

Oh alright, since it's you. If I could be...

a librarian...maybe Tina would like me better?

an athlete...I'd be a gymnast, do somersaults with no knickers on and people would cry "What a cunning stunt!" (sorry but the old ones are the best)

a porn star...my name would be Cocoa Frances (based on the game of taking the name of your first pet and the street on which you were raised)

a homeless person...at least I'd have a dog for company.

a piece of office equipment...I'd be a shredder. I have the personality for it.

That do?

Herge Smith said...

Ms Sith, it's an arse to be sure, but I've done mine now.

Cocoa, ya gotta make it a post, include the list, add 3 new occupations and then nominate another 3 bloggers to have to do this (other than the ones I've already nominated).

I know, it's an arse... but there you go.

Nobody Special said...

Oh well, I was struggling what to post next, so okay.

frstlymil said...

If I could be a psychologist I would spend entire sessions looking the patient in the nose instead of the eyes so that they would become paranoid about bits that might be hanging from their nostrils. See how I am? I wasn't even invited to play.
How bout - If I could be an American politician....
If I could be an Amway salesman....
If I could be a dominatrix....

Karen said...

Hey frstlymil, what do you mean, "if I could be a dominatrix"? I already *am* a dominatrix!

Oops, sorry, TMI. I was saving that for a future blog post. ;)

The Saturnyne said...

is it me or is your type somewhat huuuge today?

S.

PS: tHere definitely should be an

"If i could be an otter..." somewhere on that list
quickly followed by
"If i could be an evil genius..."

Sniffy said...

AAhhhhh, I get it, I'll do this over at Cakesniffers at some point. Keep watch!

Or am I supposed to do it here?

I'll go and read again...

Herge Smith said...

Does my font look big in this?

Seriously, Mr Saturnyne is concerned that my fonts too big - is it? Or is it the same as always.

I mean, I like a big font, who doesn't? but I don't want it freakishly big or anything.

edwaado said...

I thought it was because smithy looked like you.

Nobody Special said...

I'm sorry but there appears to be a photo discrepancy going on. It might be my Poor Facial Recognition Syndrome or am I missing sommat? In one photo you look like Tom from Spooks and in the other..I don't know maybe a zany DJ from a local radio station. What's going on?

Oh and yes your font does look a tad on the large side. Shall we say as a general rule big is beautiful but just recently its been large to the point of uncomfortable!

Herge Smith said...

Yeah, I know, I was hung over. Edwaado keeps making reference to it - presumably in an attempt to get people to visit his SOOOO LAMMMEE blog it gives lame blogs a bad name blog.

I really didn't want to make my blog in the least personal and only did so because I wanted to explain why I was a bit 'off' during my dogs illness (dog still paralysed - but much physio going on)- Unfortunately my 'intelligent' friend totally miss understands this . Oh well....

Besides that captain funny pants is sooooo thick because as it happens I look more like Danny than Smithy, what with black hair and all. Stupid bugger.

Sadly, I look more like a zany DJ. The dog looks the same though.

Herge Smith said...

or the one standing next to Danny, or Plug even.

edwaado said...

He's right it is lame.

(I can't believe he censored me!)

Sniffy said...

I'm going to have to leave this until tomorrow evening, but I'll do it, i promise. Fucking IT Nazi bastards at work have a lot to answer for. I can't even read most blogs' comments let alone post to them. I can only see the ones where the post expands, rather than opens a new comments page.

Gosh, just seen trillion's eyes, they're rather startling.

Herge Smith said...

Yeah I noticed that, very bright blue - I reckon she photoshops them. Oh yeah.

Nobody Special said...

What's so unbelievable about me having blue eyes?

Herge Smith said...

Because they're so striking.

Nobody Special said...

But in a good way, right? I'm not some kind of freak?

Herge Smith said...

nah, not freaky.

Not that there's anything wrong with freaky.

Nobody Special said...

True. It's just the way you all commented on them made me feel, what's the word...paranoid! Maybe I should rename myself Marvin?

pissoff said...

The challenge is on....

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