Monday, April 18, 2005

BBC Radio 4 - In defence of a cultural phenomenon

Following Cakesniffers scathing attack on Radio 4, posted here, Angry Chimp has decided to publish a single days schedule from that fine radio station to prove how wrong she is.

Please note this is taken directly from the Radio Times magazine, and has been doctored in no way... honest.


Radio 4

5.35 News; Shipping 5.43.13 Prayer For The Day with Jonathan King 5.45 Farming 5.57 Weather. It’s raining. 6.0 Today. Righteous indignation for the middle class elite. All politicians lie, all under 40s are disrespectful idiots, including Sarah Montague. 9.0 Start The Week. Andrew Marr interviews a teenager who ate his own testicles and wrote a book about it, a former Hollywood star that is spreading her legs on the West End stage and wrote a book about it, Michael Barrymore who wrote book about Michael Barrymore and a cab driver who just happened to be a Lord, and wrote a book about it. 9.45 (LW) Daily Service. Not that anyone ever listens. 9.45 (FM) Book Of The Week: My Flaps. By Jade Goody. 10.0 Woman’s Hour. Woman are great, men are shit and the systems biased toward men despite the fact there’s no Man’s Hour. 11.0 In Living Memory. A vicar talks about how he abused the choirboys in 1976 – 86 and got away with it. 11.30 Hung Out And Dry. Comedy about three middleclass middleaged sisters and their troubled coffee morning. 12.0 (LW) News; Shipping 12.04 You and Yours. Everyone is trying to rip you off and rape your dachshund. With voiceover for the visually impaired. 12.57 Weather. It’s still fucking raining. 1.0 The World at One. More lying politicians and a report about the chavs planning to move next door. 1.30 Election Call (6/12) More lying bastards, except that lovely Charles Kennedy, but then he’d probably be a lousy leader, right? 2.0 The Archers. Ambridge is rocked by Brian’s Range Rover puncture. Tom is eaten by a one of his pigs. 2.15 Afternoon Play: Not One Of Us. Agatha Segewicks’ harrowing drama about a group of 50-year-old Oxford Graduates who discover that one of them actually went to Liverpool Polytechnic, and never graduated. 3.0 Money Box Live: 08700 100 444 Covering how to invest the inheritance left to you by Auntie Esme last June. 3.30 Lady in Red. New series of short stories to mark the 25th anniversary of the official Chris de Burgh listening, Madeira drink, depressed housewife. 3.45 Room With a View. New Series. The Room in which Joy Division singer Ian Curtis topped himself. 4.0 The Food Programme. Poor Food. Sheila Dillon looks at the food eaten by those people you see hanging around bus stops and outside the fish and chip shop down town. 4.30 Thinking Allowed. Laurie Taylor disappears up his own arsehole, and asks what the intellectual value
is of such a journey. 5.0 PM. More lies, but with a dash of 'knowing' humour from the Scottish bloke. 5.54 (LW) Shipping; Weather. 6.0 Six O’Clock News. A repeat of the boring bits from PM without the smug Jock. 6.30 Smug – Unsmug. The ‘tedious’ quotation quiz from that titwank Nigel Rees, creator of the 80's graffiti books which only ten-year olds found vaguely amusing. 7.0 The Archers. Brian fixes his flat with the help of a ‘townie’ and the Pig is elected Major. 7.15 Front Row. Arts magazine show. You’ll never have heard of anyone they talk about, except for an ‘ironic’ perspective of modern Celebrity game shows. 7.45 Middlemarch. Broadcast daily for the past 3000 years. 8.0 The Moral Maze. Radio 4, is it just elitist middleclass, middle England toss? The Panel debate, on mass. 9.0 Frontiers. Peter Evans examines scientific research that suggests that big juicy cocks actually are better. 9.59 Weather. It’s thundering as well now. 10.0 World Tonight. We’re in bad shape, let's face it. 10.40 Party Election Broadcast. By the Angry Chimp Party. 10.45 Book At Bedtime. The Exorcist. By William Peter Blatty. With extra 'gore'. 11.0 Willy Out. A late night comedy with a bit of swearing in it, about a homosexual MP.(1/2) 11.30 Hamish and Dougal: You’ll Have Had Your Tea. A real piss poor comedy beyond parody. (R)(6/1100) 12.0 News and Weather. Lies and rain. 12.30 Book Of The Week: Thick, Fat, Worthless, Media Whore Scum. By Jade Goody. 12.48 Shipping 1.0 As World Service.

Happy listening.

1 comment:

Sniffy said...

That just about covers it. Unfortunately this week, there's a strong prospect of me travelling from Leeds to Norfolk in a car with no CD changer and a driver who actually likes Radio 4. Dickhead. He's told me he's getting an activity centre for me for the back seat and I can bring a personal stereo and some tapes.