Monday, April 25, 2005

WE LOVE EACH OTHER - From The Guardian Magazine

Reprinted with no permission from The Guardian Weekend Suppliment 23/04/05

The Guardian We love each other 6
THE WEEKEND MAGAZINE: It just fills your heart with joy.

John Dungravel & Frances Ford

John I used to borrow my cellmates cologne when I knew she’d be visiting. It was called ‘The Beast Inside’, that’s what I thought I was. It was refreshing that my past didn’t bother her; she could see the love I had hidden inside me. Even my history with little ‘Lilly’ and the twins, didn’t dissuade her from coming to see me.

Frances It was his smell that did it. I knew he did not bathe much, due to the threat of violent buggery in the showers, but he still made an effort. I had contacted him through a specialised Internet newsgroup; he thought I was a 12-year-old girl called Lesley. He did not mind when he found out I was 47. He said at least I had a vagina. I decided to wait for him.

More of the same,




boabhan sith said...


That's fucking SICK!

LOL...@ least she had a, picky picky

Herge Smith said...

Yeah, he got lucky alright.

You would never guess the filth our British Newspapers will publish.

Honestly, it's beyond the pale, really.

Sniffy said...

The media has a lot to answer for. Thank goodness for the honesty and integrity of the Angry Chimp!

Herge Smith said...

Hurrah!!! Cakesniffer has returned!!! Yeah.

Honestly without you and Sam visiting it's become terribly lonely over here.

But as always I must add that I simply REPORT what's going on, I don't make it.

Sniffy said...

Get up, the MC has started
Pump up the house and groove it
Stop, you're in a shakedown zone
You like bass, I love it to the bone
Hustle, I got muscle
Time to rock 'cause the rhythm is trouble
Dance, let's go crazy
When you see me shout Rebel MC
Outlaw kicking up dust
You know what it is, I'm just street tuff

That's me, street "tuff" from a hectic day of sniffing babies and pensioners. I suppose that's what comes from having the election slogan "Keep it Sniffy".

You like my election song though? I figured it's much better than any shite that prick Bono could come up with. Actually, it's stolen from Double Trouble and the Rebel MC, but it's old enough for nobody to notice.

Herge Smith said...

Bono is a right cunt.

End world debt, buy my album, look at me I'm professionally oirish

His fucking bands shite as well.

Hey, we're all street tuff over here!

frstlymil said...

EEEEEwwwwwWWWWWWW!!!!!!!! Okay, ew.

Yest, still I laughed. Thanks. Great site.
And thanks for visiting over at Millicent!

Linsey B said...

Could you put me in touch with the specialist Internet newsgroup Frances used? I have a vagina too, so should be a hit with the boys banged up. Ta muchly.

Herge Smith said...

Nice to have you here Millicent,
and Linsey, seriously girl, you don't want to get involved with the sicko's that read and appear in the Guardian.

And I'm sure you have a very nice vagina, but you should save it for a nice boy and not waste it on jail birds.

hope that helps.

Linsey B said...

I have a beautiful vag Herge, I just need it breaking in after a serious drought. Would you oblige me? I'll get it de-crusted first....Oh, and I love your blog, it's fab. Creep, creep...please fuck me....

Anonymous said...

Shit herge, I didn't notice that going into the Grauniad. The Convict is alway ready to end any dry spells ;)

Craig said...

That's just wrong. Now if I can just stop laughing...

Anonymous said...

disgusting and funny at the same time...............