Monday, April 04, 2005

Pope Idol - Still going ahead, say ITV

pope idol
Pope Idol - More pointless than ever?

Angry Chimp News feels that an item that appeared in yesterdays story, “RoboPope - the future of 'Catholic' law enforcement?” requires further clarification.

Although the Vatican has decided to by-pass centuries of tradition in the selection of a new Pope, enlisting the services of the Cyborg 21C as the new Pontiff, it is important at this time to reflect on exactly what this selection process original entailed.

Pope Idol has run over many centuries and has been the sole method for the selection of all previous Pontiffs, up to and including the last one, PJP2.

A panel of ‘industry’ judges sit and watch each of the eager Cardinals, or Pope-abies, as they perform song and dance routines, always hoping that this will lead to the chance to perform a solo gig at St Peters Square.

Simon Cowell, renowned Pope Idol judge was already prepared to fly out to the Vatican when he heard the news that the Catholic Church had ignored this most holy of game shows and instead installed a Cyborg, or RoboPope as he is now more commonly known, at 1a Vatican Way.

simon cowell
Cowell - cunt.

“Frankly I was gutted”, said Cowell speaking to Angry Chimp News exclusively this morning, “Those daft Fuckers have robbed me of the chance to insult and demean literally hundreds of fat, ugly, talent less cardinal bastards”.

Cowell went on to add that during the previous selection process for the Pope in 1975 he had been so spiteful to a Cardinal from Berry St Edmunds that the religious man had, “literally pissed himself”.

ITV have already announced plans to air an alternative Pope Idol, despite the ultimate pointlessness of the exercise.

Duncan Doggend, Head of Entertainment at ITV said, “It doesn’t matter that the Vatican has made this outrageous decision, we still intend to go ahead and degrade and humiliate as many contestant Cardinals as possible.”

Doggend said before adding, “they’re still all up for it, just as long as they get a few seconds on TV, even if it is accompanied by Pete Waterman telling them they’ve got a fat arse and a face like a raped arsehole”

Pope Idol is due to air this Friday, and will running for the entirety of April.


Sniffy said...

So funny, it should be banned.

Anonymous said...


Personally I'd like to see the revival of an 'old school' favourite... How about "Cheggers Plays Pope"?

Could be quite amusing watching that loon swigging away and grinning like a twat (as he always did) in the middle of some religious ceremony.

I agree Simon Cowell is a cunt, and should be swiftly 'erased' by RoboPope if ever such a comeback occurs.

Keep it real.

Beefy Nipple x

Herge Smith said...

Hey Tina,

What's the deal? I left an amusing (i thought so) comment on your blog - words of wisdom, but it hasn't shown up - when i went to leave an additional comment it was there, but not on the actual blog - huh?

Anyhoo, also great to hear from you.

Beef Nipple - welcome my friend, do i know you? I think I do! - I like the idea of Cheggers plays Pope - he could eat the 'bad for your health' snack food, Pope Tarts.

ho ho ho.

An old man has died, yet we still find much to laugh about.


Sniffy said...

I think my blog is terminally ill. Things are taking ages to show up and I'm not getting any mail notifications. Let's hope it's not a long, drawn-out death that turns into a media circus.

A Blogger said...


I am truly honoured to be linked to such a funny site! Pope Idol is one of your best!

I pope to pay you back, just not tonight ~ too tired. Let Bloggy explain, on my behalf.



Tina, 'Long drawn out circus!?'Rings a few alarms.