Friday, December 30, 2005

Angry Chimp's top 10 movies of the year - Part One

Continuing in the vein of my film review yesterday, here are my top 10 films of the year - in pant wettingly exciting ascending order.

10. Cheese, my name is Ron - directed by Marcus Humuscoffer

A heartrending (although sporadically bittersweet) documentary about a Korean child that was born with a freak medical condition Stephacockaliticus that left him with a lump of Stilton instead of a head.

I will openly admit that I cried during the scene in which Kim Ron tried to explain to a confused waitress why a ploughman's Lunch was not an appropriate meal.

9. Sleep now - directed by Michael 'Doc' Surgeon

A gentle British comedy of manners in which the central protagonist Harold Shipman (Martin Freeman) accidentally on purpose euthanasia 250 old codgers.

Particularly amusing is the scene in the courthouse as Shipman, brilliantly played by a bearded Freeman explains that he should be praised not vilified for getting these 'coffin dodgers’ out of the way for family's who really did not give a fig about them anyway. Side splittingly funny.

8. Prisoner - directed by Dollar Change

Controversy met the announcement that former rapper Dollar Change was going behind the camera for the 1st time to helm the big budget Hollywood reimagining of this UK cult classic.

As it turned out, Prisoner was a roller coaster ride of shoot-outs, car chases and adventure as No.7 (renumbered in a corporate product placement deal with Max Factor) fights for the truth behind his imprisonment in a closed gated community in California’s affluent Rancho Palace Verdes.

Thrill of the movie: A gravity defying sex scene / shoot out/ car chase - had to be seen to be believed.

7. Schindler's List - directed by Wang Gong

Another remake hits my top ten, but it's a goodie - a remake of Spielberg’s ponderous 1993 'Holocaust' movie, relocating the action from war torn Germany in the 1940's to the heady excitement of an audition for Endemol entertainments smash hit Big Brother reality TV show. In a surprising twist Oscar Schindler is the name of the Producer who ultimately decides who gets into the house, condemning all the unlucky hopefuls to a life without 'Z' grade celebrity status - a life not worth living.

Heart stopping moment of the movie has to be the scene in which the 10 new contestants to the house voluntarily shave their heads and take a communal shower - the audience is lead to believe they will find no water here, only a chemical laced shower of death. Sadly, Radox shower fresh is the only chemical they ultimately face and tragically, they all leave the shower alive.

6. Le Garçon et La Lune - directed by Pierre LeDong

Art house smash that crossed over into mainstream cinema, undoubtedly helped along the way by starlet Gabrielle Gigiolous very tabloid relationship with former UK home secretary David Blunkett.

Le Garçon is a whimsical tale of French style free love in an age of decontructivism and vagina warts. A mixture of Jean Paul Sartre and Readers wives gives the viewer a peak into the lives of disaffected French youth who prize the visceral pleasures of pretension over the concrete realities of iPods and dog shit. A joy.



garfer said...

If the waiter avec le dong only makes 6 it is hard to envisage what left field cinematic delights await us.

I can't wait.

Sniffy said...

I'm sure Chimp only appreciates "cinema" that I've never heard of. Thank god he enlightens us here, or I'd never get any culture.

I can't use laptop keyboards/