Thursday, December 01, 2005

Angry Chimp's advent calendar - DEC 1st (Update)

A Angry Chimp advent Dec 1st

The 1st of Dec, ahhhhh, only 3 more weeks to waste millions and millions of pounds on crappy presents for people who don't deserve anything.

And like a perverse presents size race, more and more is spent each year, with all your friends and relatives getting the equivalent of Latvia's GDP in toys, PC's, bikes, DVDs. MP3s, Clothes, booze whatever...

And the real focus for the advertisers this year has been to try to hoc us all this electronic shit that'll be out of date by the end of this sentence, and more booze and drink than we can possibly consume without dying.

Because, if we buy these things and receive these things it will make us HAPPY.

Yeah right.

And all the time we try to ignore the fact that there is of course still a huge proportion of this world in poverty and starvation - but it'll be okay if we just fill our guts full of turkey, chocolate and mulled wine.

"What should we buy Granny this year?"

How about nothing. Seriously.

How about making her something instead, or write her a poem, something, ANYTHING that takes even a nano second of thought, because seriously, that basket of smellys you're planning to get from the Body Shop ain't fooling no one.

It takes the least imagination possible to buy someone a pre-packed Christmas present from a shop (unless you included vouchers which are basically a slap in the face that says "I don't know or care to know you at all").

And what about the presents you're kids want? - Let me ask you a question, if you bow down and get them exactly what they want, despite the economic strain it may put you under, or indeed how much your kid'll get out of it - do you really, honestly think your child will appreciate it for any longer than the next TV commercial they watch?

I'm not a Scrooge, I don't believe this time of year is Humbug (not since those Ghosts came a callin' last year) I just think it's time to say, HOLD ON!

What is Christmas really all about?

Yeah, I know the answer already.

It's about spending money and making the shareholders of all those national and multinational retailers a lot richer.

Doesn't that just make you feel all warm inside?


Sniffy said...

YAY! Who gets to open the first window? Oh, I suppose we have to wait until the first.

Bastards on crack!

Herge Smith said...

Yeah, and it'll be an even opening as well...

Don't hold your breath - it is Angry Chimp's advent calender.

Sniffy said...

I'll look forward to it, I need to kick off something for mine

edwaado said...

So what should we expect behind every window? Razor blades, used condoms, and needles?

pissoff said...

Ohhhh the anticipation.

Did you get the package yet Herge? It's been two days afterall.

Craig said...

People are going to be checking back obsessively to see when you've opened each day.

And by "people", I mean me.

Sniffy said...

And me, I'm his number one fan, the dirty birdie *grins maniacally*

Spirit Of Owl said...

This should have been on sale for the past 12 weeks. Or months.

Anonymous said...

Can't wait to see what's behind window number one - the stabbing bachelor, perhaps?

Bastard blogger won't let me login.


Faltanus said...

count me in among those eager fans drooling with anticipation!

hey, i like today's verification word: vbum

cali said...

he doesn't look very angry, but he is sure is one scary looking motherfucker. if i'd had an advent calendar like that as a kid i'd have been really thankful that it comes but once a year.

S.I.D. said...

If its anything to do with Christmas and happy smiling children,I dont want to look.

Sniffy said...

I like to buy presents that mean something to the recipient, otherwise there's no point.

I get most enjoyment from Christmas by spending time with people I love and having a bit of a nosh up. I love receiving gifts that people have put thought into buying and wrapping for me, I prefer giving them.

But you're right, the whole thing has gone way beyond what it was supposed to be. Something has been lost and it is very sad.

Sniffy said...

Yes, money down the toilet. Indeed it is.

MHN for short said...

I like to give the pil & my folks framed pictures(candid shots) of Owen. This year I'm making sugar scrubs for the sils and my sisters too. Super easy, inexpensive and it's a pampering item. Win, Win, Win.

Rowan said...

I always feel like the biggest jerk for not getting my kids exactly what htey want, at least, I made that mistake with my daughter. Now my son, it's easier! I just buy whatever he wants online and I don't have to leave the house whatsoever! Fantastic! I just spent 17.00 on shipping something that he won't know what it is (an electronic kids nativity scene) No matter, my daughter who wanted a psp instead is getting a GB advance, see? you're right, I"m making her a better person by denying her the things she really wants. Who'm I trying to kid? I'm a cheapskate.