Friday, December 02, 2005

Angry Chimp's advent calendar - DEC 2nd

A Angry Chimp advent Dec 2nd


Oh course, if you do buy into that whole 'mad consumerism ' at Christmas lark, make sure you get exactly what your little 'un wants, otherwise Christmas will become a month long frantic dash to get this years 'MUST HAVE' gift, or face certain misery on Christmas morn.

My Mother often reminds me of the year (1983 - I think) in which she and my Father spent days and days before Christmas trying to track down an AT-AT (from Empire Strikes Back) for my xmas prezzie - after all, I'd been a good boy, so why not?

Every toy shop they went to they heard the same story "Sold out of that days ago, not expecting anymore stock until the New Year'. My Mother says it was a horrible time because I'd so pinned my hopes on getting this fantastic Kenner toy (or Palitoy for the UK distribution). They scoured almost the entire West Midlands, before finally giving up....
...

because THEY FOUND ONE!!

And I was over the moon on Christmas morning, and still have that AT-AT now.

But then I was a special kid, kind, sensitive and appreciative. Not like modern brats which are all spoilt, ungrateful, selfish, spiteful little abortion dodgers.


Ahem, anyway, the fact is if you haven't already got the 'MUST HAVE' present for your kid, FORGET IT. Best face the fact that Christmas this year is going to be rotten, and your rugrats will be dreadfully disappointment which will undoubtedly leave them scarred (Cheers Owl) horribly in adult life, and lead to drug dependence, sexual inadequacy and most wrongly of all compassionate conservatism.


But then I'm only saying that because one of this years 'MUST HAVE' presents is the very same
radio controlled Dalek I talked about back in September - and despite my Mummy ordering one for me in the first week of Sept, I've yet to receive it - sniff.

Maybe next year, eh?

11 comments:

pissoff said...

Yay... I'm first.

pissoff said...

And Second.

Yes... I once scoured the planet looking for a Buzz Lightyear for my son to no avail. I finally got a hold of a Disney store in Kentucky who had some left and they shipped me one for $13. My son enjoyed the packaging much more than what was inside. Actually, he liked a $5 wooden car I got him best of all.

aasmodeus said...

I love that term. Abortion Dodger. I'll use that some day in conversation. They'll never know whether I'm insulting them or not.

cali said...

What? You didn't get the dalek i sent you a few months ago? Customs must have thought it was some kind of threat to national security or something. Dammit! The thieving bastards are probably using it to exterminate backpack carriers on the tube now. Uggh.

DrMax said...

I agree, all this consumerism is causing us to forget what the day is truly for......getting drunk.

Sniffy said...

I can't get a Dalek either - ordered one in September and Amazon cancelled. The cunts.

Children know too much, they see too much, are put under pressure to have the latest this or that by their peers. Children should be locked away and pretected from these pressures until they have some sense of individuality beaten into them.

red one said...

I don't fancy Santa's chances of flying through British airspace with a radio controlled Dalek on board in the current climate...

Have you thought about a nice Tony Blair doll?

red

thordora said...

You STILL haven't gotten it! That sucks.

I remember my mother getting me a Cabbage Patch doll as a child, and fighting for it. I didn't want it, I wanted this fake UZI....

I've noticed that of all the things I buy, the girls like the crap from the dollar store the best.

S.I.D. said...

Daleks scare the hell out of me.Always did, always will.


Is there a dalek aversion therapy course available?

Rowan said...

how's your mummy then? She well?

My daughter is grateful, but unappreciative if that makes any sense, she's indeed spoiled (my fault for trying to do for her all my parents couldnt' do for me) and doesn't give one wit about anything material actually

Spirit Of Owl said...

What I like about this post is that although you say "leave them scared horribly in adult life" and undoubtedly meant "scarred", the fact is that both work equally well.