Monday, December 19, 2005

The Middle Class Child - 3.4.21

Esme in the garden

Esmé is playing with her friends, Jack and Jessica. Jack and Jessica are brother and sister.

Esmé does not quite understand why Jack looks quite so different to Jessica. She decides to ask her mummy.

She asks her mummy in exactly the way her mummy has taught her to ask questions, which her mummy always says will help her learn as much about the world as possible.

“Mummy?” Esmé asks, “Can I ask you a question please? Why does Jack look different from Jessica?”

Her mummy immediately stops what she is doing (which is writing a very interesting article for a Sunday magazine about modern mosaic designs for interior decoration) and explains to Esmé as clearly as possible, the distinction between Jack and Jessica Cavanagh.

“Jack”, Lizzie says, “is adopted. That means that his mummy and daddy couldn’t keep him. So Jessica’s mummy and daddy decided that they would take care of him instead. They did this because they are very kind, and have enough love in their hearts for both Jack and Jessica.”

Esmé now aged three years four months and 21 days thinks for a moment before saying,

“No mummy, why is Jack olive colour with brown eyes and black hair, and Jessica is pink with blonde hair and blues eyes?”


Sniffy said...

Yes, answer THAT, you stuck up bitch!

"Mummy, can I ask you a question please?"

Fuck off!

"Mummy, can we have polenta with sub-blushed tomato and olive sauce for supper please?"


Sniffy said...

Oh fuck it! Sun-blushed, tit.

Anonymous said...

sun-blushed tits are the bomb.

Faltanus said...

Mummy, why does Jack look like those people they always show on the telly news who take people hostage and blow themselves up to kill other people? Mummy, is Jack going to blow himself up to kill me as well?

Sniffy said...

Har har har har!!!!

S.I.D. said...

Stupid Elf Shorts now!

pissoff said...

Oh Lord... this sounds like the parents at my son's school. I soooo don't fit in there.