Monday, February 14, 2005

Are they really friends?

Friendship as defined by the Merriam - Websters online dictionary is;

Main Entry: friendship

Pronunciation: 'fren(d)-"ship
Function: noun
1 : the state of being friends
2 : the quality or state of being friendly

A couple of friends, lets call them Bonny and Cher have very recently led me to question whether they actually are my friends. I will detail below what happened and then throw it over to you to decide on whether they are friends or not.

A very sorry tale indeed:

I met Bonny and Cher approximately 5 years ago through my then girlfriend - lets call her Gretel. Gretel and I split just over 18 months ago and have since then been on-off friends (mainly off). Gretel has been in a relationship for over a year with a guy but she has on occasion claimed she still gets upset when she thinks about the dog, the house and me. (In that order no less!) Bonny and Cher remained friends separately with both me and Gretel.

Anyway just before Christmas Bonny mentioned that Cher was meeting a friend of hers in a pub near to where I live. I asked if I could pop in and meet her friend - lets call her Snow White. Cher was cool with this and so I met her and her friend. Bizarrely I seemed to hit it off with Snow White, who turned out to be very smart and hot - she even liked my dog (actual dog - no joke).

As we chatted I believe Cher got a tad freaked that we were getting along and started to try to kybosh the whole thing in the following way;

Cher: You only like blondes don't you Herge? (Snow White has black hair)

Me: Er... no.

Cher: Snow White smokes, you don't like smokers do you Herge?

Me: Actually I think looks cool.

Cher: (to Snow White) Herge is bound to get back together with Gretel!

Me: Er... it's been over a year and as it happens I don't want to.

I swear it was like trying to dodge sniper fire during a prison break, each shot missing me (but barely) only for the searchlight to find me again with the sniper letting off another round.

I didn't out stay my welcome and left before closing time. Later Cher texted me to say she thought Snow White was flirting with me and despite her odd behavior she'd mention getting the number from Snow the next day.

The next day came and nothing, so I texted Cher and here's what I got back: -

"Discussed it with Bonny - don't think it's a good idea, would upset Gretel"

Obviously I was a might confused, especially as I've said Gretel had now had a new boyfriend for a year so it was unlikely to upset her very much, if at all.

I texted back to say she must be joking and her reply was no, she wasn't joking and she'd maybe think about it and get it after a couple of months.

I was quite pissed off about this naturally. I mean why was it that they were more concerned with ensuring that my ex-girlfriend who was currently involved didn't become upset that they had potentially set me up with an independent friend rather than allowing me to explore things with Snow White? For Christ's sake I'd been TOTALLY single for well over a year!! And I am a proper fully grown adult after all, an adult who was aging at a horrifically accelerating pace and not exactly meeting a vast amount of fab women in the no-horse town in which I am condemned to live.

I begged for the number, I pleaded and told them I was lonely and that meeting Snow White was the first ray of hope I'd had in months. Nothing. Nada. I was annoyed and then aggressive but still nothing at all worked. In fact they were so desperate for me not to get the number that when I was round at their house over Christmas they hide the card they had received from Snow White in case I got her number from it. Which particularly irked me as it was the only reason I'd gone round in the first place.

So anyway I thought this situation was bad enough and that was when they started to twist the knife in.

I'd get a message out of the blue to say that Cher was meeting Snow White for lunch. I'd ask where and Cher would say 'not telling you' and ask AGAIN for the number and I'd get told that this wasn't going to happen.

Then a week or two later I'd get another message to say that Snow White had texted Cher to tell her that she'd seen me in town. I'd say to Bonny and Cher that the fact that Snow White was bothering to mention that she'd seen me meant that she was probably slightly interested and could I PLEASE get the damn number.


Now you decide...

From the story above do you feel that I have been unfairly treated by these people and can they in all good conscience call themselves my friends?


Anonymous said...

No, no they can't

Karen said...

Sure. They are just more Gretel's friends than your friends.

Think of them as drinking buddies, no more.