Friday, February 25, 2005

DRBB: BBC announces ‘Death Row’ killer rival.

BBC 'subtle' campaign is a stark contrast to DRBB imagery

It was the news that DRBB ‘mastermind’ Mark Canttrell undoubtedly didn’t want to hear.

BBC Television today unveiled plans for it’s very own extreme reality TV game show. A show Media insiders claim is designed specifically to take on Canttrell’s seemingly unstoppable Death Row Big Brother.

Described by Producer Lance Hewitt, “the show is a cross between the recent documentary ‘Right to kark it’, the international game show phenomena ‘Going for Nazi Gold’ and the heartbreaking video diary series ‘Living at deaths door’, which charted the long suffering illness, and eventual death of 80’s pop sensation Rick Nicely.”

Hewitt went on to add. “It will be the smash ratings grabber of the spring”.

When asked whether this new show could possibly survive a ratings battle with Death Row Big Brother, Hewitt laughed and remarked, “They say it’s a titanic show, well let me tell you, ‘Celebrity Euthanasia Challenge’ will be it’s iceberg”

Hewitt, former Head of Production for Mutilated Child, the controversial makers of last years ‘sleeper hit’ documentary ‘Bashir’s Colon: An inside look’, explained to the amassed crowd of Reporters at BBC HQ in Wood Norton, Vale of Evesham this morning that the ‘TV event of the summer', as Hewitt put it, will feature a range of complimenting game show elements,

“We have both physical and mental challenges. The celebrities will work both as part of a team and work individually, which with require the contestants to literally compete for their own lives” Hewitt went on to explain, “We will also have a Video diary section, which will provide a fascinating insight into the contestants state mind, in an extremely stressful life threatening series of situations”.

Hewitt was challenged by a journalist from The Mirror, the self proclaimed “Home of DRBB news”, that the show sounded almost exactly like dozens of other extreme reality programmes currently airing on TV and radio.

Hewitt responded by asking the journalist the question; “When was the last time you saw a major celebrity having to choose between cutting his own wrists or putting a bullet in his head, whilst being asked to answer questions on Thomas deQuincy, author of Confessions of an Opium Eater?” before the journalist could answer, Hewitt added “against the clock”.

An anonymous source close to the show confirmed that the ‘major celebrity’ that Hewitt had made reference to, was in fact, Jimmy Harris, the ex-workman’s nightclub comedian and former presenter of ITV’s late 70’s darts show “180”.

Harris last appeared on our screens in 1992, when he faced charges of sexual harassment.

The charges were subsequently dropped when it was revealed that Harris had served with the British Army during the Normandy landings.

Last picture of Harris before he vanished in 1993

Harris is currently classified officially, as a missing person.

If Harris does turn up on our screens in this latest BBC ratings grabber, Berkshire Police said they would be very interested to speak with him, and the production behind Celebrity Euthanasia Challenge, Hung Poacher.

Ironically the BBC HQ in Wood Norton, which was chosen for the BBC's announcement was the scene of the brutal murder of Helen Atkins (93) at the Hands of DRBB’s very own semi-finalist, Glen Jones in February 1991.

Abortion Tickles, the producers of DRBB have not made an official statement regarding the today's announcement from the BBC.

The question as to whether TV is big enough for both shows remains open, but it likely to be answered come the first viewer rating results this spring.

Celebrity Euthanasia Challenge is scheduled to start early next month. The finale of Death Row Big Brother is this evening, with a second series already planned for March.

For all the hot news from DRBB, head over to;

The official DRBB news page.

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