Crap animals No.47: The Zebra

"Don't you try to fucking cross on me pal!"

Zebras are shit.

Discuss.

I was watching a friends video of a safari he went on recently and it really struck me that all the other animals, hyenas, antelope, lions, cheetahs, all of them blend in with their natural environment.

They really seem to make a massive effort to not stick out, except the fucking Zebras.

What are they thinking?

You can imagine the conversations these fuckwits are having,

Zebra 1: Dude, that outfit totally rocks.

Zebra 2: Cheers dude so does yours. Check out those lions, man, that beige shit is saaaaddd.

Zebra 1: I know, it’s soooo old.

Zebra 2: Yeah.

Zebra 1: Hmm.

Zebra 2: What?

Zebra 1: No it’s nothing.

Zebra 2: What? What’s wrong?

Zebra 1: Well, know I come to mention it, I mean it's probably nothing but you know you really do, totally stand out, you know, against the veldt and that.

Zebra 2: Yeah, hey thanks man.

Zebra 1: Yeah, and it’s cool and that, don’t get me wrong, but you really stick out.

Zebra 2: Hmm, now you come to mention it, you really stick out as well.

Zebra 1: Yeah, in exactly the same way that cheetah there doesn’t.

Zebra 2: What cheetah?

Zebra 1: The one right next to you dude!

Zebra 2: OH SHIT! I didn’t see him there!

They both die horribly.

See? You get the point right?

Fucking Zebras.

They’re just pretentious horses if you ask me.

So I open it up to debate – Is the Zebra colouring the shittish camouflage ever, or what?