Friday, June 10, 2005

Celebrity Concentration Camp - Dido gets an early shower

Celebrity Concentration Camp 5

The public have voted for Pop Diva Dido, to be the second contestant to be sent to the showers in Channel Five's Celebrity Concentration Camp.

Disappointed by the news, Dido's popularity has trailed ever since she sang on the third day of the show in a misguided attempt to cheer up the other contestants, or detainees as the producers of the series, 'Fingered Toddler' calls them.

"You can torture us, degrade us and slowly starve us to death" said fellow detainee Missy Elliot. "But forcing us to listen to that disembowelled little Lord Faunteroy caterwauling, well that’s just plain evil"

And it appears the public have listened to the fat/thin/fat/thin rhymer, overwhelming voting for the self obsessed toff from Kent to face a waterless shower this evening at 9.00pm.

Previous showerer, Ricky Gervais attracted record viewing figures, as the lardy, pasty and sporadically amusing TV personality coughed and chocked his last breath on Monday evening.

"It wasn't a good way to go, but it did get some good numbers,” said executive producer Jean Pierre LaRedoute, admitting that although it may have been painful for Gervais, it was far from painful for Five.

Meanwhile, it seems that Bruce Willis is more than happy with his new haircut. The American action movie star said that he had little hair to begin with so forcibly having what remained shaved off in an attempt to further dehumanise the detainees, proved no real hardship.

Plus, it has also cut down on the risk of lice infestation, a condition Willis has battled with all of his adult life.


Karen said...

I think I need this. My pudge is not disappearing as quickly as I would like. :(

Sniffy said...

Can we all sign up? Apart from Dido's singing and Missy Elliot's crap rap, I think a fortnight in a concentration camp would be less painful than going the gym.

Where do you get these ideas?

Rowan said...

Hillarious! What can I say? Great idea.

Connie said...

Poor ol Bruce and his Lice problem...who knew?????

edwaado said...

Hey, I thought Dido was dead?

edwaado said...

Now Bruce has got a baldy, does this mean he'll make a decent movie?

Lisa from Alaska said...

A pox on you all! Missy is a Genius and Bruce will one day be my baby's daddy!

Oh alright, her music is crap and he really hasn't made a decent movie yet has he?

edwaado said...

Hey Striking Distance is a damn fine film.

Lisa from Alaska said...

Oh, you mean that one where he plays a tough guy cop, with a good heart, trying to avenge the death of a family memeber? Actually, I haven't seen it but I'm willing to guess it goes something like that. They all go something like that.