Tuesday, June 28, 2005

What is going on with McDonalds marketing?

I got this through the door today...

McDonalds vocher book
What the fuck? - Are they zombies?

I realise that McDonalds are having a hard time at the moment, which makes my heart bleed, but I think this desperation has had a very detrimental affect on McDonalds marketing team.

What message is this supposed to give potential customers? Maybe it’s don't be a idiot, have a salad instead (and not from McDonalds, you fuckhead).

Mind you, with a ‘Buy one Big Mac – Get one free’ voucher, I know where I’m eating tonight.

For more on eating at McDonalds, click here.

37 comments:

edwaado said...

Excellent.

Buy one coronary get one free.

Spirit Of Owl said...

Oooh, those golden arches make me go all funny. Excuse me just one moment.

(Closes bathroom door)
Bwwweeauurrrrgh. Brrreeau... blei... aareaaaaoooouuurghaa. Argha. Awwauh. Wauh. Wah. Wa. Uwoo. Hoo! Sheesh.
(Re-emerges wiping chin)

Ah, that's better. Now, let's bomb the twats.

Herge Smith said...

We should fucking bomb them... mind you a do have a dirty confession... every so often, once every couple of months I will buy a Big Mac... but as an act of selfless sacrifice I will give that up to see those golden arches, and Burger Kings etc to be destroyed...

I don't get it, you have proper chinese food restuarants and Indian restuarants as well as all the shit versions, but no proper burger joints? Does that mean fundamentally all burgers are shit? I just can't believe that.

Hmm...

Sniffy said...

Yo!

Change the menu and repackage it any way you like, it's all total shit.

Give me a pastie or chips and gravy any day. At least nobody's pretending that English shit is anything other than completely bad for you. Yeah, and i'm lovin' it.

Yes Herge, sorry for not commenting today, but I can't comment or post from Base 1 because of the firewall. I've been at work in job 2 this evening (kerCHING!). That's the road tax paid.

JustMe said...

That's just not right....

Herge Smith said...

Justme - In a good way or a bad way?

Sorry T, I just need the sniffy blog... it's not an evening without it.

Lisa from Alaska said...

I saw the worst McDonanlds advert ever! It made me so irrationally angry that I wrote them a letter.

Dear McDonalds,

I am writing in regards a recent advertisement that you ran. The commercial featured a beautiful shot of a father playing on the floor with his beloved baby daughter. The baby was probably no older that six months old. While the two are playing, enjoying their afternoon the announce says, “There’ll be a first step, and a first word, and of course, her first French fry.”

This commercial, while probably designed to make the viewing audience go all soft inside, had the very opposite affect on me. While I understand that there will indeed probably be a first French fry, do you have to rub our bad parenting in our faces? Arrogance is never attractive, darling. Please consider that before running that specific advert again.

Regards,
Lisa from Alaska

Sniffy said...

That is sick.

Herge Smith said...

I seem to have lost a comment - probably now on someone elses blog...

Anyway, what I said was - Lisa, your response to McDs was subtlety brilliant!!

Sniffy said...

She's quite a one, isn't she? Even when she's telling people off, she's turning them on!

Lisa from Alaska said...

Why, Tina Cakesniffer, that has got to be the sweetest thing anybody has ever said to me.

Lisa from Alaska said...

Herge, subtlety brillant, how kind of you to say, and a huge compliment comming from you.

My husband thinks I'm a little bonkers as I actually do write letters to corporations on a semi-regular basis.

That letter to McDonalds wasn't just for your entertainment, but an actual missive I once sent - minus the typos, of course.

Proper use of American English Language is the only think that separates the concerned citizens from the crackpots after all.

Sniffy said...

Did you get Big Mac vouchers from them for taking the time to contact them with your concerns? That'd have been ace!

Sniffy said...

Lisa, I wonder if you'd take the time to tell me off for something??

I actually like McDonald's quarter pounder with cheese and they're "fries" are OK. This shit is OK once in a blue moon, but it's so rammed down people's throats - particularly children's - that it becomes a normal part of the diet for some folk.

Lisa from Alaska said...

Tina, offend me some time and I will. Until then I guess you'll just have to deal with all the shameless flattery I heap your way (did I tell you that I put curls in my hair yesterday in homage to the beauty that is you?)

Yes, the did send me gift certificates to use in any of their resaurants. That's the thing about writing letters to big companies, they will always send you feel stuff, especially if you complain.

I wrote a letter to wrigley's gum because, while I loved their product Orbits gum, and its inovative box-like container, poor construction methods made the box come undone.

They thanked me for suggested stronger glue, promised to look into it, and because I was such a loyal and concerned consummer a voucher for a case of their gum.

Herge Smith said...

Fuck, if that's the case I'm sending a complaint to Teen Fanny Magazine...

Actually what the hell am I on about, I've got the biggest directory of porno at my finger tips.

Ha ha ha....

Lisa from Alaska said...

Really, is there anything better than internet porn?

If there is, I haven't found it yet!

Sniffy said...

You know, I've never looked at porn on the internet, or anywhere else for that matter.

Herge Smith said...

True.

Honestly, when I was a boy, if I'd had internet porn, I'd have been totally blind by now with two massive twisted claws for hands and a penis as thick as a pencil (i'm actually as thick as marker... which i know, ain't much better).

Herge Smith said...

Tina, you should. You wouldn't believe the filth out there... it's quite shocking.

Do you read porno then? or do you just not do it at all?

Sniffy said...

No, no porn exposure whatsoever to tell you the truth.

Lisa from Alaska said...

Tina, word of caution regarding internet porn. Don't go looking for things that you don't want to see. For example: bondage. If you think it's cute to blindfold a guy (or gal) and tie them to the bedposts (and frankley, who doesn't?) that's one thing. If you start poking around bondage sites without being mentally prepped for a whol lot more, you might literally be left with images that will haunt you for life (I've got one stuck in my head involving ropes, an asian woman, a ball gag, and a chain with a rather large hook holding the poor dear up from a rather uncomfortable place.).

Spirit Of Owl said...

Here, I give you, Bret Begun's piece on Burger King's Greg Brenneman. This is not a joke. I haven't even changed the names.

Burger King Chief says Get Fat the Bastards IN HERE NOW!

Sniffy said...

I don't think I'm interested in porn to tell you the truth. although having never really looked at or watched any, I couldn't really say for sure.

Lisa from Alaska said...

A sad, sad story...

Boss's son just got busted for having porn on his computer. He's 16 and the thing is in his room for fucks sake, what did they think he was going to do with it? As a result, Boss's wife decides that she needs to send the boy to counciling for... wait for it... sexual deviancy.

How is that deviant behavior? HE'S A SIXTEEN YEAR OLD BOY! She should be thankful that he's spending the time alone in his room and isn't out there poking girls.

Lisa from Alaska said...

Tina, I think that might even be a sadder story than the one I just told about the Boss's Son.

Lisa from Alaska said...

Herge, where did you go? Tina's off to la-la land and you've decided to go to sleep with her, huh?

Herge Smith said...

That's insane Lisa!!!

16 year olds are wanking ALL the time, and when they're not wanking they're getting hard on's because someone brushed up against them, or when they're on the bus.

Fucking idiots will push this poor bastard over the edge sending him to counciling - it's bonkers - he'll end up a sex offender I bet...

"Mummy said touching my wing wang wa s bad and that all women are dirty little fishes".

Fucking morons.

Lisa - get me this womans phone number, i want to speak to her.

Herge Smith said...

Very interesting article Spirit, and to be honest, it is a shame McDs is always the one getting a kicking - I'm sooooo complicit in this.

I think it's the way McD's go about it, they do all the kiddie stuff, getting them hooked young, the fucking clown...

I guess compared to that everything else is quite tame...

Time for BK to get a kicking, but first, I'm popping out for a flamer...

Lisa from Alaska said...

Indeed, I told Boss that very same thing. I told him that if he didn't have the stones to save his son from a very unhappy/unhealthy sexual future that I would call the woman myself and tell her that she was making a HUGE mistake!

Boss's concern is that if his son spends too much time on the internet that he will develop an unrealistic idea of women and relationships. I told Boss all his son had to do is cum all over the wrong girl's face once and he would know right then that the interworld and the real world are two very different places.

Herge Smith said...

Or try to fuck some girl in ass.

Blimey, this is going down hill fast.

Herge Smith said...

Oops, americanese... I mean hump some bird in the bum.

Lisa from Alaska said...

Your americanese is perfect! I hardly detected an accent at all.

Steve Dix said...

Show me a 16-year-old boy who hasn't got a frantic wanking schedule and I'll show you a very ill person indeed.

Karen said...

Yeah, get the boy a fucking date. Let him use the car, give him money, tell him and the girl to have a good time. Just don't drink and drive.

I love BK food (and some McD's food) but in the interest of not being too fat a bastard I only eat it once in a blue moon. Shit that grease is tasty, though!

Sniffy said...

So what porn sites should I look at then? Are they free?

Lisa from Alaska said...

Of course they aren't 100% free, but they do give away so many free samples that you really don't need to buy a thing.

Just google a few key words and away you go, wisked into the land of internet porn.

If you aren't looking for hard core action and prefer pretty pictures of nakkid gals, you should check out "glamour model" websites. They are almost always 100% free. Or if you like a naughty story or two (or thousands in every catagory of coupling) you should check out www.literoctica.com - good stuff and one of my personal favs!