The Art of Happiness: Chapter One

One: World Wide

So I buy the gun from ebay.

It was a lot easier than you may think.

Ever since the Eastern Block fell apart you can pretty much get whatever you want if you know where to look.

Nerve gas, anti-personnel landmines, surfaces to air missile launchers, cluster bombs by the dozen …

I could have even bought a tank if I wanted, but the postage was too much.

Besides, all I needed was a gun.

Thing is, I needed the security yeah..?

The next best thing for home security in this country is a Rottweiler. Frankly I didn’t fancy taking the bastard for walks.

Or cleaning up it’s shit.

So I got the gun from ebay.

I needed the security you see..yeah?

Ever since they beat the shit out of me and told me to watch who I was friends with.

Hold up, I’m getting this all arse backwards.

I’ll start again.