Thursday, August 18, 2005

Blog hits are down...

Sadly, Angry Chimp has hit hard times. Comments are down, hits are down and originality has bottomed out.

I am certain that you all are feeling as I am, that this blog has become tired and somewhat lacking in creativity.

So, if I decided to keep the blog going I have a couple of options open to me. These are,

A. I can dig deep inside and strive to come up with a series of new and exciting posts that will entertain, excite and educate all at the same time.

This will be hard work for all of us. We will have to say goodbye to some old friends like Dalek and Borg and some other stuff I cannot remember now. However, ultimately it will be worth it, because this blog will finally become what I always hoped it would be...something special.

B. I could just post some more cute pictures of my doggie, Dixon.

So here it is folks... my decision...

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Dixon enjoys some hydrotherapy to strengthen the back legs.

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Dressing dogs up is weird - this photo proves it. Plus, the dog is clearly not enjoying the experience.

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She may be able to walk again, but longer treks, like those on the Malvern Hills mean Dixon does need help, from time to time.

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More recently, Dixon had a claw removed (it had broken up at the quick - ouch) She had a bandage for a week - it was massive as you can see. She was not a happy pooch.

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Dixon, now well used to seeing me point my camera phone at her.

I hope that was enough to keep me going for a bit, and get some comments.... we'll see...

Oh, and don't forget folks - its 'Over to you Friday' (or Ver2UFri as the texters are now calling it) this Friday...

41 comments:

Rowan said...

so, is that your girlfriend/wife in that picture there with Dixon? Ah, so now we are seeing more depth to the chimp.

Craig said...

That is a really cute dog. Though, in one picture it appears as if she became a really bored woman.

edwaado said...

There's nothing like a daschund montage.

cali said...

Dammit - you had me worried for a bit there.
Was he named Dixon for alliteration with dachshund - or do you live in Dock Green - wherever the hell that is. Or was his father called Dick?

(I started tutoring chemistry a few days ago and i think my brain has melted from having to re-learn high school chemistry, so i don't think i'll be able to get you anything for ver2Ufri - sorry 'bout that 'erge).

Spirit Of Owl said...

"Daschund Montage" sounds like Franco-German food.

Aww. He's very very cute Herge. A very cute dog. :D

Herge Smith said...

Rowan - it's a friend of the Dixon's.

No depth to the chimp - like the line in seinfeld - 'everytime I think you couldn't get anymore shallow, you manage to drain a little more water from the pool'

CK - they were having a think together - then Dixon feel asleep (she has a small brain)

Cali - shame, can't you even squeeze out a Never Trust a Dalek?

As for Dixon, her real name is Pixie, this became Pixon, then Pixon Doo, then Dixon Doo and now just Dixon.

She responds to Pixie, Dixon, Oi, and tea and treat.

Owl - tar, she is a cutey alright, ain't no doubt about it.

Spirit Of Owl said...

She's a cutey. That's what I said.

Anonymous said...

herge, saw something in a diner and thought of you. took pictures with new digital camera. will post it on mine when I am back from vacation.

Aas, not to be confused with Aak. still on vacation.

Crystal said...

Herge, that completely made my day. I am a dog freak (I hope to open my own rescue one day).

I'm going to have to get my Lucy Lulu's dew claw removed because she keeps snagging it and it hurts her pretty bad. :(

I'm going to have to post pictures of my babies now. I can't have Dixon stealing all the oooh's and aaah's!

Crystal said...

btw, what kind of cell phone do you have? it takes really good pictures. mine suck.

Anonymous said...

[Keith from Minnesota]
Shame on you, milking the dog angle for hits... oh, look at the darling puppy!

MHN for short said...

As usual you know what sells and puppies sell big time!!! It doesn't hurt that Dixon is adorable! Oh erm the owners ok too...


Your blog really is something special. It may not be what you call a "proper blog", but then you've seen the "moanfest". I'll take the Angry Chimp any day!!!!

DrMax said...

Saaaay, dog pictures, THAT is not a bad idea. Since I don't own a dog could I use Dixon jpgs? He is just a puppy muffin...yes him is....

Angie said...

And when women want more hits on their blog, they turn to pervy posts and comments on other blogs. ;)

Of course, I would never stoop to those levels ...

pissoff said...

It worked Herge. Post pictures of the pooch and everyone's on here going ohhh, ahhhh.

Glad to see you still have your hair.

Sniffy said...

Exploitation of children and animals is always a winner Herge, well done! It's like when women see a young, attractive man pushing or holding a little baby - instant babe-magnet. That photo of you with her in your rucksack - what it's called, DTD? My oh my, you knew the effect that'd have on the ladies.

Well done, an excellent post. It's about time Dixon got more of the limelight instead of fictional cyborgs and Daleks.

edwaado said...

Don't be fooled, Dixon is not as innocent as she may appear, look what she did to Rudi
(Thanks to Herge for this one)

more...

garfer said...

Dixon deserves a blog of her own. We can't have you using her free, gratis and for nowt, just so you can bump up your comment quotient WITH NO JUSTIFICATION WHATSOEVER.
WE WANT DIXON, WE WANT DIXON!

Steve Dix said...

A common mistake. It doesn't matter how much you show of widdle Dickeypoos, the only real way to increase your hitrate is to include the word "Naked" in your titles.

Sniffy said...

Actually, I've found that posting pictures of women snogging, and tit shots get the hits too. Oh, and also if you include the word "porn" in the title.

Don't understand that.

How about another Dixon health scare? This could include more photos of you looking forlorn and worried? "Dixon finds a lump". Just a thought.

We need more vitriolic attacks against the middle classes too. How about getting some mileage out of Madonna's recent accident?

MHN for short said...

Madonna had an accident?! omigosh, i'll have to write her a card right away! NOT!

pissoff said...

I have to agree Herge - tits usually work. A topless photo of you and Dixon might be a big hit. Or you could do the Canadian thing and pretend he was a seal pup? You'd get tons of mileage outta that. Just a thought.

thordora said...

want some baby pictures too? That should help-pretend to be a mommy blog!!!!!

My kids are really cute!

I still cannot get over how damn cute Dixon is! Maybe I'll get one like her instead of the Bassett Hound I want.....

Herge Smith said...

Thordora - Sorry, no pics of kids, no matter how cute, can compete with a small haired miniture dachshund, black and tan. Thanks anyway.

Piss Off - No topless pics of me will ever appear on the internet. I rarely take my top off, no way. Dixon, on the other hand is naked most of the time, except for her collar.

MHN - Not sure what I think about Madonna, I don't hate her, I've always thought she was rather clever.

Steveo - Dachshund - NAKED!!! (see above)

Garfer - No Dixon blog. Following this appearance she will be withdrawing from the public life.

Edwaado - It's sad that despite your camera and camera work being far superior to mine, Rudi is not as cute as Dixon - maybe if she lost some weight?

Angie - Hello Angie!! If you've got pervy posts I will be over in a minute.

Dr Max - There will be a small fee for using pics of my pooch.

Keith - I know, shame on me - but you all love it.

Crystal - It's some sort of Nokia thing - Edwaado - can you answer this please. It does an okay job, I was thinking of upgrading mind you.

Aasmodeus - thanks for popping in, having a good holiday? I'll be over at yours in a bit.

Spirit - Yes, she's a cutey.

Tina - You like the rucksack pic did you? Dixon loves it in there - funny thing is, when i carry her in there no one ever notices her, so I don't get stopped as often.

I'd rather have less Dixon scares to be honest.

Nick said...

I worked with a daschund once in a TV pilot (ooh get me - actually the pilot was dreadful and came to nowt).

As the subject of cute photo-montages, they are great (nice one Herge). As co-stars - well, I'd rather work with ... (fill in irritant of your choice - I've got something against Fearne Cotton at the moment...)

thordora said...

true.....Dixon likely doesn't smack you in the head while saying "no hit mommy"....

trade?

edwaado said...

She was cute once, maybe if I could dig out one of the puppy photos...

Herge Smith said...

Nick - Dachshunds are cute, but training them for TV? Virtually impossible... they have veeerrryyyy small brains, and are quite thick.

Thor - I'm gonna hafta pass on that one.

edwaado - and why would you do that exactly? - Are you feeling slightly threatened by my small, stupid doggie, who has a serious spinal complaint?

Wasn't it bad enough that the very day I told you how upset I was because Dixon had been kept in at the vets and they didn't know if she'd pull through, you chose to post pictures of Rudi on your blog?

It's true folks... he did do that.

Monkey said...

This exploitation of animals has got to stop!
Oh the humanity!



Dixon is a cutey though. More dog pics! And damn the torpedoes!

edwaado said...

Purely coincidental. It'd been on my schedule for a number of weeks...

Dix is cute though. Rudi does 'dumb' quite well.

Herge Smith said...

and 'big boned'

Perdita said...

I'd post but I don't want you to think any time you want an ego stroke you can just out up pics....
wiener dog in da pool!!
...I am so not that soft and distractible, I expect content or at least....
Awwwww injured puppy
...some humor.

Sniffy said...

"Dixon is your whore"

"Pimp my dachshund"

Fuckin' ace.

Herge Smith said...

Monkey - welcome again - always happy to have a fellow simian of taste in the house.

It is exploitation - exploitation of the aaaaaaahhhhhhhh factor... and I am an evil genius at it.

Perdita - You are strong, but not even your strength can resist the power of small dog with big eyes and poorly foot...

No one is strong enough.

Herge Smith said...

Technically Tina, I am Dixons bitch, I feed her, bath her, take her for walks, carry her if she gets tired, pay for all her medical treatment, stroke her, clean up her poo, hold her and calm her when she gets freaked during bonfire MONTH...

Do you know what she does for me? Nothing. If anyone new comes to the house she ignores me. Any women in the house, she follows them around and ignores me.

It's an abusive relationship I tell you...

And I love it...

I'll tell you what, blogging has been tough this week - I've purposely avoided all my usual stuff so that come tomorrow all the stuff you guys have sent me will seem extra fresh.

See how good I am.... see!?!

Crystal said...

I don't see 35 comments as a low count.
Hell, I'm happy if I get 4!

Herge Smith said...

Crystal - it's down to the power of the Dachshund... the power of the Doo.

MHN for short said...

I'd like to hear more music and none of their(artist, actors, etc.) views on religion, politics and life in general. Their lives are so far from the reality of the "common man" that what they have to say on those subjects doesn't apply to real life.

Stepping down from soap box now.

red one said...

*laughing at edwaado 12.09*

hope you won't sack the triffids, Herge. i like the triffids.

red

Craig said...

Do you worry about the police when you carry Dixon in the bag? It seems awfully dangerous.

Karen said...

Shit Herge, you're shag-a-rrific. Is there a 2006 calendar I can buy? Shots of yummy you and the cute black-and-tan doggie?

(I certainly hope that hot babe is your woman so your "daschund" gets to go for walks, too. ;)

Give Dixie Doo a big kiss from me.