Friday, August 05, 2005

What's yr take on...

What's yr take on marriage

28 comments:

pissoff said...

Insane fucking waste of time if you ask me. The best scenario would be a duplex (semi-detatched for you English). You live on one side, he on the other. Then you have an adjoining door between the two dwellings. One thing I can't figure out is why people would spend thousands of dollars on a wedding. What a waste of friggin money. Go to the JP, take a nice big holiday or do something else worthwhile instead of buying a dress that you'll wear once and feeding your friends.

aasmodeus said...

Totally agree with pissoff.

Sniffy said...

I dunno, it seems to work really well for some people. Don't know how things would work for those same people had they not been married though.

It's good to have the choice I reckon. If too people really love each other and they want to cement that through marriage, or through some legal thing, then let them. I think it's easy to say that it's a waste of time when you have the option; there are plenty of folk who aren't allowed to marry (because of their sexuality) and it'd just be nice to have the choice.

Sniffy said...

too? FUCK! I really annoy myself when I get my words mixed up. I meant "two people" of course.

aasmodeus said...

what about three people?

thordora said...

it's a GREAT way to get that extra bit on a loan for school.....

not that I'd know or anything....urm....

I'm with April...there have been some artists who were together, yet in separate houses. Sounds KICK ASS to me. Bed to yourself, no one eats the ice cream....

We spent 75$ on ours, and the bastard STILL managed to sneak god in there....puffincunt minister in place of the JP...

Karen said...

I am undecided on this one. Never tried it but I might, someday. I'm truly scared by how ugly it can end up being.

What's your take on it, Herge?

Faltanus said...

i think it depends on what your definition of marriage is. although my government deems it fit to deny me, and millions like me, the legal institution of marriage, i've been with my partner for 11 years and consider myself married to him. i see marriage as a committment between two people to be full and true partners in life (companions, friends, lovers, caretakers, confidants, etc.) and i am happy as can be with the man i made that committment to. All the legal baggage and other constructs that religions and governments have built up around the concept of marriage doesn't mean anything to me.

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aasmodeus said...

LFA, hugs back.

Faltanus, do you feel the need to use the moniker "marriage"? What about union, or life-long partnership? Marriage does have a lot of positive connotations, but the negative baggage just doesn't do it for me (negative for both the people in it, and for excluding those who aren't able to be married).

Herge Smith said...
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garfer said...

Not a chance. I've slaved long and hard to accrue my £12.50 in savings. If any gold digging hussy thinks she's going to get her grasping paws on my hard earned she's got another thing coming.
Those pre-nuptials aren't worth much either. Just look what happened to Mick Jagger. Poor fellah; him on his uppers 'an all.

Anonymous said...
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Herge Smith said...

Tis done, Anon.

+ others... ho ho... are all channels being monitored?

Faltanus - I had no idea that the American Government denied Math teachers the right to get married... that is so odd.

Anonymous said...

I don't know, but better safe than sorry, I think.

Thank you for being so liberal w/ the delete key.

Aak (not to be confused w/Aas)

Crystal said...

Well 90% of the time I love being married. 10% of the time when my husband is getting on my fucking nerves or I'm lusting over another man, then it sucks.

Jane said...

Marriage itself is probably only worthwhile for the legal protection unless you are regilous then fill your boots but the need that is deep down in most of us to find someone who we think we can be with for ever is still strong. That's my take.

thordora said...

We should remove the word "marriage" from the popular lexicon, since it sends right wing nut jobs up a wall of nonsense, and leaves most women with a lingering sense of ick....

but when I refer to my husband as my partner, it just becomes a HUGE deal to explain since most people are terribly snoopy...

cali said...

Well it sure as hell isn't anarchistic, so I guess that means it must be worthwhile.
Keeps the in-laws happy anyway.

cali said...

Ooooh! Deleted comments! What were they? What were they?

Rowan said...

I think marriage from a legal stand point is a grand thing. I lived with my hubby for 6 years before we were married and let me tell you, sad as this seems, the law favours married people, especially where kids are concerned.

now, off that tangent, I think weddings in retrospect are a waste of time. I wouldn't do it again if I could go back in time. It was 30,000.00 CA where 1/2 the guests who said they were coming didn't come at the last minute (that's about a hundred or so people) and the only people who seemed to really enjoy the reception were the assholes that claimed to be friends, gave us a card containing 40CA from 12 people! I don't know about other countries, but most other people gave about 200.00CA not no flippin 40. Then, on of them who decided halfway in that she no longer wanted to be my bridesmaid as she didn't realize we'd be buying dresses from proper dress shops, tells me as I'm up to the honeymoon suite that they've just rented a room or 2 so that they can continue their drunk fest all night long. Ungrateful bastards, Their dinners were a whopping 60 bucks a plate (cheap by most standards). Screw you I say! *breathes* I'm better now! Anyway, I say get married in the carribbean if you want to get hitched.
Lastly, I wish sometimes that people were freer from societal views on what is right and wrong. I am one of those that primarily believes marriage is a religious institution and traditional in the sense of "love, honour, obey, blah blah" (not against gay marriage just so everyone is clear) so I have a hard time when I want to lust after someone else because I know that it is wrong. Times like that, I feel it would have been better I wasn't married at all. But, I do love the stupid ass, most of the time..hee hee

Nobody Special said...

Ha, ha, I just misread Faltanus' comment about marriage as:

"...I see marriage as a committment between two people to be full and true partners in life (companions, friends, lovers, cakesniffers, confidants, etc.)..."

How Freudian is that?

Herge Smith said...

You've got such a latent librarian mojo whatsit for tina haven't you trill.

Thanks for the comments everyone, I've put them through Orac and he says the split if 80/20 against marriage.


That's a shame.

Sniffy said...

Nah, she just loves me that's all.

MHN for short said...

Ok. Here I go. Take it or leave it (my comment of course).

I've been married for almost 15 years (dec.1990). I think that it depends on the two people.

Are they willing to work at the marriage daily?

Are they willing to fight for their life together and not let other people in their personal relationship?

Is divorce an option for this couple (theoretically)? Because if it is, then they will be doomed to fail.

It also depends on your preconceived notions you have about marraige. If you think that you'll "always" be happy and as long as you are together nothing can go wrong, then you are setting yourself up for failure.

Luckily, or maybe it was on purpose, David & I decided before we got married that divorce was NOT an option for us.

Although 9 years later we talked about it, because something almost happened. We decided to stick it out and work on our marriage since nothing actually happened that couldn't be taken back.

I'm so glad that we took the time to fight for our marriage, for if we didn't, we wouldn't have Owie and would both be loney and misserable.

We are designed as humans to have "help-mates". We are, in general, social creatures(just look at the blogs- people seeking out other people.). So anyway, that's my take on it.

btw: our wedding only cost $1500 usd and it was in a church with everybody all dressed up and a nice dinner and cakes. Whether you spend $50,000<---insane or $50, you are still just as married.

Faltanus said...

Aas - i never actually use the word "marriage" to describe my relationship, i certainly NEVER refer to my other half as my "husband" although i know many gay couples who do use those terms. but as Thordora points out, people just don't get "partner" or "partnership" - i've had people tell me that sounds too much like a business arrangement, and i don't like "boyfriend" because it lacks permanance. i mean who is with their "boyfriend" for 11 years. if you've been together for 11 years and you are still calling that person your "boyfriend" it sounds like your relationship hasn't evolved or grown, like maybe you are still just dating. i guess the truth of the matter is, there isn't satisfactory vocabulary out there to describe it appropriately.

Ship Creak said...

I think marriage is a Good Thing. Provided that you don't have to convince yourself that you're doing the right thing.

I think the idea of a church wedding is totally anachronistic (thanks Google...) and hypocritical, too, unless you are a religious person.

Best thing, as Rowan said, is to go to the Caribbean. Which is exactly what my fiancée and I are doing.