Faltanus - A Semblance of Sanity
Reprinted with no permission from The Guardian Weekend Suppliment
Laura & George Bush
Laura Well at first I sort of thought that the vacant look in his squinty little eyes, the way he makes up words and abuses English grammar, his weasely little chuckle were all kind of cute. You know, endearing in a way. So the 12th time he asked me out I finally said yes. I thought it might be good for a few laughs. Then I found out about the alcohol and cocaine abuse and I knew I had found someone I could rescue. Of course what really sealed the deal was meeting his family. The first time I met his mother Barbara, she took me aside and said, “Georgie is going to propose to you and you are going to accept. You are going to be a member of this family dear, and there is something you need to know. You do not want to fuck with this family. Tow the line, play your part, and you will be fine. Cross us, and you wont live long enough to regret it.”
George When I first seen her at a party I was like, “Damn! I gotta have her!” So then I asked her out like a bunch of times but she was always like, “no, I gotta wash my hair,” or something. And then this one time she said, “yes,” and I was like, “oh, yeah! I’m gonna get me some!” And you know I wasn’t thinking about how to make a uh, you know, uh, impression for tomorrow you know like for marriage or something. But after our first date I knew because she didn’t, you know, slap my face or, uh, give me a fake phone number or walk out or anything. So when I called my mom she said, “don’t worry Georgie, we will take care of everything.” But then my friends were like, “dude, no other tail for, you know, the rest of your life? No way dude! You’ll never make it!” But it was too late. Mom had already fixed things. Craig Taylor
3 comments:
LOL
Like brilliant dude.
Leave poor Georgie alone! He can't help it if he's an inarticulate moron.
Post a Comment