Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Stephacockaliticus to hit the big screen.

Stephacockaliticus and me1

LONDON (Reuters) - ‘Stephacockaliticus and me’ – the so-called disease diary featured in Herge Smith’s Angry Chimp blog site, has been optioned for adaptation as a feature film by New Line Cinema.

New Line Cinema are best known for the ‘Hellraiser’ films and ‘Bridges of Madison County’, as well as the lesser known feature, ‘The Lord of the Hobbits’.

Stephacockaliticus is the deadly gum and viral condition which has recently caused the deaths of brain box Carol Vorderman and militant Andrea Dworkin. It was also a contributory factor in the death of Pope John Paul the 2nd, the former Pope.

Herge Smith’s heart breaking daily diary on his ‘weblog’ or ‘blog’ has frequently attracted as many as ten visitors a day. Who lap up his harrowing struggle with the fear, pain and often prejudice that surrounds the disease.

The Blogger.com movie division will co-produce, ‘The Stephacockaliticus Diary’, which is expected to appeal to the same movie going demographic as the Bette Midler weepy, ‘Beaches’ and the Ann Widdecombe, romance/horror/disease flick, ‘Love Tory’.

Blogger.com hosts Herge Smith’s Angry Chimp blog along with a million similar self-centred, egotistical and more than often, just plain piss boring blogs.

Other stories and articles in the Angry Chimp blog have include Crap Animals, an expose of not-that-great-and-sometimes-small creatures, extensive coverage of UK election – ‘Which bastard ‘05’, and an unending look at the world of TV games shows, including, ‘Celebrity Circumcision – The Final Cut’, ‘Celebrity Prolapse: LIVE’ and ‘Let’s Hunt and Kill Celebrities – Celebrity Special’.

It’s not been plain sailing for Herge Smith; along with contracting Stephacockaliticus from a dirty toilet seat at a Chris De Burgh comeback gig, he was as recently as last month sued by the BBC, Paramount Studios and the Terry Nation estate for his unauthorised use of their intellectual properties. He also faces libel action from up to thirty people featured in his ‘We love each other’ column.

“I’m hoping to buy my way out of trouble”, Smith told reporters following this mornings announcement, and “The fifty quid I’m getting for the rights will help with that”. He continued.

The movie version of ‘The Stephacockaliticus Diary’ is scheduled for a spring ‘06 release.

We will bring you further news from this exciting new movie as and when we have it.

Stay tuned folks.

14 comments:

Sniffy said...

"Love Tory" ahahahahahhhaahahahha

I laughed my head off as soon as I saw the title for this one. Very, very funny indeed.

You haven't really been sued have you? God, that'd be so good for publicity, we could have a campaign and everything!

Herge, you're the best!

Sniffy said...

Oh, and who have they got lined up to play you? Surely not John Cusack or Matthew McFaddien?

Unknown said...

Mixup at casting agency, meant to get John Cusack, got Joan instead.

Sniffy said...

Has the worm finally turned Ed? Are you biting back at him at last?

M said...

Funny!

T~
I'd have to be someone who is British or could at least carry off a British accent. hmmm, maybe Jude Law. He's nice to look at. ;-)
Or perhaps Sean Biggerstaff! Now he's a cutie!
Not sure if he's legal age yet, but by the time the movie comes out he'll be of "full-on-lust-after" age.

Herge~ maybe you could play yourself... then all the women will be lusting after the right man! ;-D

Rowan said...

Brilliant! Another charmer. I especially liked how you pulled the Guardian into this one. Too true. As they say, write what you know.

Rowan said...

nah, you can't be played by john cusack, then my hubby will be doubly just a wanna be. no fair! *speaking of which, still haven't 'heard back from that look alike contest*

M said...

hmmm. interesting, a Herge Look Alike Contest...

garfer said...

Sheer fuckin' genius.
Speechless.

thordora said...

Cillian Murphy.

Rainypete said...

Maybe this is the project to bring Sean Connery out of retirement?

Unknown said...

Tina, I'm a bit toothless so my mauls tend to be no worse than a really bad suck.

M said...

edwaddo, you should work on your technique then...

M said...

This "disease" always sounds so painful.